Sooo I finally did it. I graduated, and I'm free, at least until I have my job interview on the 9th and start working 50 hours a week.

I'm trying to think of how to get inspired.
Because my camera has me down.

I know it's stupid to let the quality of your camera bum you out.
And it still takes good pictures.
But I'm spoiled, and materialistic, and I want a new one.

At least I know what my first paycheck is going towards.


I also opened up a modeling account on modelmayhem. I thought it might be interesting to hop between the two lifestyles and try to grow more as a photographer, being in a models shoes. I also have a lot of models who want me to photograph them, and a lot of photographers wanting to photograph me. But I don't know why I can't commit to shoots anymore. I'm kind of scared of commitment. My mom raised me to be paranoid of everything, so everyone and every situation looks dangerous to me. I've grown to be a bit of a pessimist when it comes to the intentions of people around me.

Anyway. I think I'm going to try and do something really pointless and time consuming, like some long photography project (NOT the 365 one...eesh) and see what kind of possibilities it opens up for me. I need to stop living on the sidelines of life and fucking get out there and get my hands dirty.

I swear it's not my fault, it's just how I was raised.

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